How to be happy
is a common question of all of us. I tried my best to give you the
answer in this article, read it carefully and follow these 2 steps.
1) Make attainable goals
Working toward goals can give you a sense of purpose, and reaching them boosts your self-confidence.
However, there is one major mistake that many people make: setting
unrealistic goals that you can’t possible attain. Instead of feeling
gratified and accomplished, you can end up feeling worse about yourself
than before.
Suppose
you’ve had a physical recently and your doctor stated that you would be
healthier if you exercised and lost some weight, so you decide to lose
25 pounds (11.3 kilograms) in four weeks. You reason that you can do
this by exercising 90 minutes a day and sticking to a strict diet of
1,000 calories. But when you get too tired to exercise, eat over your
calorie limit or don’t lose the weight, you feel like a failure.
If
you’ve never exercised before, it’s not realistic to expect that you’ll
suddenly be able to exercise for an hour a day. Eating 1,000 calories
isn’t enough for most people, so it’s completely understandable that
you’d blow your diet. Finally, most doctors recommend that you lose no
more than 4 to 6 pounds (1.8 to 2.7 kilograms) per month. You’re not a
failure — you failed at meeting your goal because it was unrealistic.
How do you know that you’ve set a goal that you’re more likely to achieve? One way is to use a technique called SMART:
- Specific — Be as precise as possible. Instead of “exercise,” your goal should be something like “exercise 30 minutes per day.”
- Measurable — Come up with a way to measure your success. “Play guitar better” isn’t measurable; “learn how to play one new song per week” is.
- Attainable — If there’s no way you can reach your goal, you’re setting yourself up for failure. “Save $100 a month” isn’t attainable if you only have $50 left in your checking account after paying your bills.
- Realistic — Your goal should stretch you, but not necessarily be easy. “Never drink coffee again” may be less realistic than “only drink coffee once a week.”
- Timely — Set a clear time frame in which you want to reach your goal. If you don’t have a deadline, you may not feel motivated to push yourself.
Our relationships with others typically play a huge part in our happiness.
If one of your goals is to improve and strengthen your personal
relationships, consider the importance of forgiveness. We’ll talk about
it next.
2) Learn to forgive
You’ve
probably been taught that forgiving someone who causes you pain is a
good thing, while holding a grudge against the person is a bad thing.
But like so many other worthy aspirations, it’s easier said than done.
Consider this, however: Holding a grudge doesn’t only stand in the way
of your overall happiness, it can also threaten your good health.
When
we hold a grudge against other people, we harbor feelings of
resentment, hostility and anger. These emotions are troubling because a
study conducted by the Columbia University College of Physicians and
Surgeons Cardiovascular Institute in 2008 lists them as risk factors for
heart attacks [source: Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine].
Focusing
on negative feelings also takes up time and energy that could be spent
on something else. Instead of plotting revenge against someone, you
could be doing something more worthwhile — or just having fun.
Doctor,
writer and philosopher Deepak Chopra suggests that learning to forgive
is a process. It begins with realizing that you are in charge of your
own emotions. You have no control over what anybody else does, but you
can choose how to react. Then, you focus on your emotions and exactly
how you felt when that person wronged you. You may have a mix of
emotions — go ahead and name them. Try to examine the situation from the
other person’s point of view, or as an impartial observer. Next,
discuss your feelings with someone else. It could be the person you’re
trying to forgive, or just a trusted friend. Consider writing about how
the incident made you feel. Some people choose to symbolically Happy quotes of their feelings by writing them down and then burning the paper.
Chopra suggests that you end by celebrating your new-found freedom in
some way, such as hanging out with friends.
Although
“forgive” is often followed by “forget,” there’s a difference between
dwelling on the incident and forgetting it. Remembering is an act of
self-preservation, and perhaps it can help you avoid being in the
situation in the future. You can forgive without forgetting. It’s not
necessary to confront or otherwise let the person know that you have
forgiven them, unless you really want to. Ultimately, learning to
forgive is about forgiving yourself for holding on to the negative
emotions
Written by bglions.com
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